At the crossroads of Eastern Europe and Western Asia lies the exotic country of Azerbaijan. Long ago, a nomadic caravan of Wise Men encountered a Traveler from the West on the brink of dehydration. After nursing him back to health with a single drop of this colorless, odorless liquid, the Wise Men presented the Traveler with an entire bottle as a gift for his courage and sense of adventure. In the dead of night, the caravan disappeared across the desert dunes before the Traveler could ask what was in the bottle. He awoke the next morning with a renewed sense of vigor and pep, and was so unbelievably amazed by the contents of the bottle that he spent the next 13 years of his life in search of the caravan of Wise Men. When he finally found them, they told him of the strange and mysterious powers of the Tears of a Thousand Camels of Azerbaijan:
This ancient and omnipotent liquid takes the form of any container it is placed into, and cannot be compressed. It is a traditional ingredient in alchemical reactions, and many of its uses are yet to be discovered. It can make the blind sing. It can turn a heart of stone. Some have even claimed it contains the essence of true love. Only its user can manifest its true potential, and these Tears are in extremely limited supply.
They must be hand-gathered using a time-tested process. Our camels are given daily massages and drink only the purest water that spills into the pristine regions of the Caspian Sea. A third of the Tears are Tears of Sadness; obtained by playing nostalgic music for them in the mesto, lacrimoso, and con dolore styles. The second third are Tears of Joy; garnished by tickling our camels with Phoenix feathers and telling them hilarious camel jokes. This prepares them for the final Tears of The Unknown; only acquired by feeding the Camels the Tears of a Thousand Camels of Azerbaijan by the light of a Blue Moon. Use with the utmost honor and kindness.